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Rough draft/my pregnancy story/I'm still healing but to write this much makes me happy that I actually could without crying.

I'm 36 in October of 2021. One week before I found out about the pregnancy my husband asked for a divorce. Meth had ravaged our lives and made me hate who he had become even more than the 3 years I fought in everyway to help him find recovery. All I knew was this baby was meant to be here.  I went to shelters and programs, I went from having everything going for me to being like a baby myself, but dropped kicked out into the wilderness. I was so codependent I had never even taken the trash out before. He was all I knew since I was 19. I have 2 sons grown and I never imagined I'd start over, especially not a single mom. I was at my bottom, I had prenatal depression on severe levels. I was hospitalized twice. I just couldn't get out of bed I had fought so hard for all those years I needed someone to fight for me. Instead everyone walked out (other than my mom) even my own father. My husband was convincing my family I needed to be committed to a hospital to hide the abuse I pu...

Thinking of all these things, I'm not sure how to feel

So many things changed We're different But my mind still says redundant things Can I not think? Well your love has this part of me My lover is a day I can't forget Furthering my distance from you Realistically I can't leave now But I'm okay as long as you  still care and help keep me from going crazy Straight up ahead You'll find a sign that says you can't get by with a lie But if I stayed by a thread Then you wouldn't know a single thing about how I feel about you and all those really dumb things people feel I'll take the bumpy road it'll probably break my legs As long as I don't show you what's ruining in my head Funny thing about is you read me pretty well But you haven't found me yet at the bottom of the well Annoying you with smoke signals asking you for help ' cause your immediate presence lifts me straight away from hell I say the cutest things about you How you seem unreal and we'd probably die so quick without each other...